


"Ryan, do you think our love will be like theirs?"

by orphan_account



Category: Bandom, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: M/M, One Shot, just something cute that i think could've happened when they shared brens aptment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-28
Updated: 2016-06-28
Packaged: 2018-07-18 18:20:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7325572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ryan's reads to Brendon every night while they stay at Brendon's. But tonight it feels like something different.</p>
            </blockquote>





	"Ryan, do you think our love will be like theirs?"

**Author's Note:**

> I don't rlly know. I just pictured this happening. I know it's all sweet n stuff sorry. I sometimes get sappy.

Ryan's head leans back and lands on Brendon's headboard with a small thump. He lets out a soft sigh and stares down at the book in his hands- it's The Notebook. He thinks it's mocking him right now. The confession of love in the pouring rain. Ryan knows it's not easy, but the book makes it seem so. As if everything becomes better the second the confession erupts from deep within, pouring all over the other person. The one you love.

But there's no easy way to explain how much you care for the other person. How you would put their life before yours. How they are everything you wish you could be but a thousand times better. How, despite anything that may come in the future, whatever troubles fall into place, you will have devoted your heart to them and them only. Forever. 

Ryan decides that the Nicholas Sparks is most definitely mocking him, and he doesn't want anything to do with that right now. He marks his page, and lays the book down on the night stand next to Brendon's bed. He glances at the Ninja Turtles clock Brendon owns and realizes it's around five, yet he's already tired. Ryan settles for closing his eyes and leaning down to sink back into Brendon's bed. 

Brendon should be getting home from the store soon, hopefully with their groceries in tow. Ryan decides it's best to nap until Bren comes home. Maybe sleeping will take his mind off the book that seems to mock his every life decision. 

He's asleep within minutes and he dreams of Brendon and him being the characters in The Notebook. Only instead of confessing his undying love for Brendon, after years of it building up, close to bursting at the seams, Ryan lets Brendon go. He doesn't tell him he loves him. He doesn't pick Brendon up, spin him around in his arms and kiss him. No. He doesn't write Brendon. Brendon never comes back like Allie does. And so Ryan is left to himself, alone forever, his heart feeling used but somehow without room for anyone else. Ryan hates that feeling. 

"Ryan?" A gentle nudge to his shoulder, followed by a kiss pressed softly next to his lips, is what wakes Ryan from the painful dream. He looks over to see Brendon laying on his stomach, hands underneath his chin, staring intently at Ryan. "Hey, you alright?" Brendon whispers, his deep brown eyes mirroring the concern in his tone. Ryan decides that in this moment, he loves Brendon more than anything. Brendon waking him up in such a domesticated manner, wanting to know how he feels. Sleeping and then waking up in Brendon's bed. All of it, every aspect, is something Ryan wants for them. He wants it to be like this until he can't remember his own name. He wants to wake up to Brendon's gentle touches and kisses. He wants Brendon's concerns. He wants Brendon. 

Instead of answering, Ryan lifts his arm from his side and cups Brendon's cheek, the younger boy leans into the gesture with a side smile and closed eyes. Ryan's thumb grazes Brendon's cheek, runs across his bottom lip before coming back to it's resting place against Brendon's freckled cheek. 

"I love you". So it wasn't quite the grand gesture Ryan had been going for. Not by a long shot. It hadn't been like the book. No. Because that didn't fit their love. Brendon and Ryan's love would outlast Noah and Allie's. And now Ryan was sure of it. Sure of his feelings. Sure of the way they felt together. Like nothing else mattered except for he and Brendon to be together. That's why it needed to be said in that moment. Because Ryan meant it. He meant it more than ever, and sometimes quiet, small, declarations of love could be just as meaningful as coming together in the pouring rain and sealing the confession with a kiss. 

Brendon's eyes didn't fly open like Ryan had thought they would. Instead, he opened them quite simply to look Ryan in his own hazel eyes. He lays down on his back, sidling up next to Ryan, his hand reaching to grab a hold of the hand Ryan had on his face. Their fingers laced together, Brendon holds them up and looks like he's analyzing them. He turns their joined hands, twists them so he can see them from different angles. The younger boy pulls their hands to his mouth and slowly, gently, places feather light kisses to each of Ryan's knuckles. 

Ryan can't think. His mind is whirling with a million different words to describe his feelings in this moment. Because this moment is everything. His heart squeezes, contracts until he doesn't know if he's taken a breath. He could write a million songs about this moment. He could go on forever in his own mind about this moment. He wants to tell Brendon, but it's not his turn to speak. No. He needs to know. He needs to know if Brendon can feel this. This moment in time. The way everything seems to revolve around the words Ryan uttered and their clasped hands. 

"Getting soft on me there huh Ross?" Brendon whispers, a playful undertone to his statement. He turns his head and Ryan also turns to face him. The face he's spent so long memorizing. The freckles that no one seems to notice but are undoubtedly Ryan's favorite attribute on Brendon, second only to his mouth. Brendon's mouth. Ryan doesn't ever want to stop kissing it. Every time they break kisses to breathe, Ryan becomes desperate to press his lips back to Brendon's. The things Brendon's mouth does, Ryan could write a song about that to. He has actually, but he'll never show it to foreign eyes. Maybe one day, in the future, he'll sing it to Brendon. Then Ryan glances up from Brendon's lips to meet his eyes. God. His eyes. He will never say a bad thing about brown eyes again. Not once did he ever think brown would become his favorite color, not just any brown, but Brendon's brown. His eyes, that revealed his emotions despite his hard trained face. His eyes, that made Ryan fall in love with him from the start. The first moment he those eyes met his. And just above those, his eyebrows. Brendon's right eyebrow has a slight break in it from a childhood accident. Yet it does nothing but make him look more endearing. 

Ryan rolls over onto his side to face Brendon fully, glancing down to take the younger boy in. He reached his unclasped hand up to run his forefinger across the little break in Brendon's brow, earning a raise from the other. "I guess I am Urie. Who would've known?" He whispers, his hand now caressing the freckled boys face. 

Brendon suddenly sits up and looks over at the nightstand where the book and clock lay. He glances back at Ryan and his hair falls slightly in his eyes. Ryan resists the urge to fix it. The younger boy releases Ryan's hand to reach across the bed, grabbing the novel and holding it out to Ryan. "Read it to me. Please?" His voice no longer a whisper, just quiet and melodic. 

The older boy grabs the book and props himself back up to lean against the headboard. He sits with his legs parted slightly but stretched out in front of him, on top of the covers because he forgot to slip underneath them. Ryan thinks Brendon will just sit next to him, like he usually does. Probably lean his head on Ryan's shoulder. But instead he scoots himself over to where he sits between Ryan's parted legs, leaning back until his head rests on Ryan's lower stomach. It's an awkward angle, but it allows Ryan to rest the book and his arms on Brendon's chest. 

Again, it hits Ryan. The domesticity. The way they just seem to fit together. The way this feels so right, like it's just been waiting to happen. He glances down at Brendon with a smile on his face, and laughs gently, "Anything for you. Even though you always get what you want".

"Only when I want something from you. And plus, you have to do what I say, this is technically my apartment," Brendon laughs, his hand reaching up and back to knock Ryan in the chest slightly. 

"S'not my fault my apartment doesn't work," Ryan mumbles, knocking his knee with Brendon's.

"Not your fault eh? You know, you're right. You not paying the bills on purpose, so you have an excuse to stay here, is totally not on you," comes Brendon in a slightly snarky, but still joking tone. He tilts his head back slightly to get a better look at Ryan. 

"You know you love having me here," Ryan muses back. Brendon notices Ryan's eyes are sparkling when their stares meet again.

"Wouldn't have it any other way. Now read to me Ross, before I really do kick you outta here. Can't stop reading to me now, we're almost at the end of the book. I have to know how Noah and Allie end up. They've been through too much for me not to know, so get to it Ryan".

So Ryan does. He uses Brendon's chest to hold the book up with one hand. The other subconsciously threads through the younger boys hair. Brendon closed his eyes about an hour into Ryan reading, his eyelashes fanning out across his cheekbones. Ryan doesn't think he's seen anything more beautiful than this: Brendon's head in his lap, eyes closed, breathing in and out softly, and his lips parted slightly. 

Ryan reads aloud the last lines of the book, "I love you"

Brendon mouths, "I love you Allie"

Ryan reads aloud, "Good night"

Brendon mouths, "Good night"

Together they both read the final line, "I'll be seeing you". Ryan closes the book and peers down at Brendon, who suddenly had the most mischievous smile on his face. 

"You've already read this haven't you Brendon?"

"No, this old thing? 'Course not," he glances up at Ryan, his hair now most definitely covering his eyes, having been run through by Ryan's fingers for the past two hours. 

"Mhmm". Ryan's eyes have slowly shut, he accounts this to being tired from reading of course. Not because Brendon has suddenly rolled over on his stomach, and is now kissing his way up from Ryan's belt to his mouth. Brendon doesn't rush. He pushes himself up on his elbows and plants kiss after kiss on Ryan. When he finally reaches his mouth Ryan's parts immediately, deepening it, swiping his tongue across Brendon's full bottom lip. Without breaking the kiss, Brendon pulls himself up to straddle Ryan, mouths still locked together, moving slowly, yet still passionate. 

Brendon leans back away to catch his breath and Ryan finds himself moving forward, aching to press his lips against Brendon's once more. He opens his eyes after a seconds realization that Brendon hasn't leaned back in yet. 

The younger boy is still straddling Ryan, one hand gripping Ryan's neck, the other on his shoulder. His eyes are staring into Ryan's. Searching for something and for some reason, Ryan feels nervous. His body is on edge as Brendon continues to search, seemingly into Ryan's soul. Ryan hopes he can find what he's looking for. 

"Brendon I can-" the older boy is cut off by a finger pressed to his lips. 

"Ryan, do you think our love will be like theirs?" And maybe it's the fact that Brendon's voice sounded so small, so uncertain and nervous. Maybe it's the fact that Ryan really doesn't know the answer to that. Or maybe he doesn't want to ruin whatever they have. But Ryan doesn't know what to think. Because Brendon just said 'our love'. The older boy can't seem to physically hold in his feelings towards Brendon's words, because he is trembling. Shaking with so much joy, he's not sure he's ever been as happy in his entire life as he is in this moment.

"I think," he pauses to consider his next words. He opts for something cliche because, even though Ryan always knows what to write, he never knows what to say. "I think, our love will be better than theirs Bren. I think you deserve more than their pain and heartbreak".

"So you'll build me two houses with your bare hands instead of one?" Brendon begins, his face completely serious in his question. It only takes a moment before he cracks up, opting to lean back into Ryan, his head buried in the crook of the older boy's neck.

"Brendon, I'll do whatever you want" Ryan's voice is hoarse, and doesn't sound at all like his. Brendon picks his head off Ryan's shoulder, looking deeply, so deeply into Ryan's eyes. He leans in for a kiss, but doesn't connect their lips just yet.

"Will you love me?" it's a question whispered in between them, Brendon's lips just barely touching Ryan's as he says the words.

"I already do," Ryan replies before leaning back slightly, their noses brushing now. "Will you love me Brendon?".

"I'm already in love with you Ryan Ross". Brendon moves forward to capture Ryan's mouth with his, and both of them are grinning to broadly for the kiss to be proper, but neither of them care.

And out of all the small moments that Ryan wishes he could write about, this moment, this. He decides that he'll keep this moment to himself. 


End file.
